portraits of the jersey shore facing choices mom keeps baby-

Facing Choices Mom Keeps Baby

“I was a Christian growing up, and I got pregnant with my first child before I got married. The scariest thing in the world for me was my parents finding out. Having to tell my parents was like the end of the world for me. I was 17, just turning 18 at the time. I considered having an abortion, because I was so scared to tell my parents. They were the wall in front of me. And the thing is, my parents love me. They would be disappointed, but they were not going to kill me or disown me or anything. I just hated to think I was going to disappoint them.

“So I was doing all of this research, and I learned that baby fetuses couldn’t feel pain until 13 weeks. The thought of hurting the baby was not something I would be able to handle, there was no way. I don’t even like to fish because I don’t want to hurt the fish. But I thought to myself, ‘Well if the baby is under 13 weeks, the abortion will not hurt, and I could ask God for forgiveness. And then I wouldn’t have to tell my parents.’ I was just a scared kid at the time.

“At the same time I knew what I was doing was wrong to the deepest core of my being. I knew deep down I didn’t want to do it. So the baby’s father and I went to Planned Parenthood to get the first ultrasound. I signed in, and I remember praying desperately, ‘Lord I don’t want to do this thing, but I feel like if the baby is less than 13 weeks, I am going to go through with it.’ It was the craziest thing. I don’t know what it is like today, but at that time they wouldn’t let me see the ultrasound. They wouldn’t let me hear the heartbeat. So it was just me and this woman, and she did this ultrasound, and told me, ‘As of today, you are exactly 13 weeks.’

“When that happened it was like a great weight lifted off of me, and I said to myself, ‘Ok, I am going to keep the baby, Shane (the baby’s father) and I will get married, and I will be a mom. I will quit school when the semester is over, I will give up all of my other plans, and I will be a full-time mom.’

“When our church finally found out, other women came out of the woodwork to tell me they shared the same story too. The church threw me a huge wedding/baby shower. There was so much grace they gave me. My parents became the best grandparents anyone could ever want. And I saw the grace of Jesus through all of it.”

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~ Island Beach State Park

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